You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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