I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
