Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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