we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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