I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My penis needs a shock collar
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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