Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
