I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am one with the molecules
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
