My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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