Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
