Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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