So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up under a house in Key West
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
