Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
