He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
