between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
