some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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