I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
this is an emotional support booty call
Randomize
