So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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