dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
