rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
