Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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