Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Screwed.edu
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
