Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
