Sober January is a disaster.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
