I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
