Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
