I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
