READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
