I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
