What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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