Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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