just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
