Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
