Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
