I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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