CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
