just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
