why didn't you poke me back
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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