we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
