I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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