i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
