It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he thought i was a dude.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
