Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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