Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
