To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
