yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
