smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
