So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
