did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
