Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
