i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
