So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
