We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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