i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
