i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
