If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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