He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
