Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
