I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
